Losing
by Soundtrack of my Summer
Summary: massie.cam.derek CamAngst. i'm slipping off the edge, i'm hanging by a thread, i want to start this over again.


Disclaimer: Lisi Harrison owns dis shiit.

**eleven months.**

Their parents didn't know that, even at the tender age of eleven months, when Massie Block and Derek Harrington met, the seemingly inseparable bond of Massie and Cam Fisher, was already starting to be broken. Cam and Massie had known each other since birth.

**three.**

By the age of three, the trio were best friends. They did everything together, which was said to be rare for a group of three. Two are a pair, one leftover...

**five.**

When Massie became obsessed with playing house, her and Derek were always mommy and daddy. Cam was the dog.

**seven.**

Massie, Derrick, and Cam tried to sit together at school and always be partners, but whenever they had to make groups of two, Cam somehow always got left out.

**ten.**

Massie wanted to have a joint birthday party. She asked Derrick. Derrick and Massie were born four months apart, while Massie and Cam were four days apart.

**thirteen.**

There was a Sadie Hawkins at school. Massie asked Derek, then convinced someone to ask Cam. Claire asked him. Cam didn't even like Claire, but his only girl friend was already going with someone else.

**fifteen.**

They had all started dating people, but whenever one of them broke up Massie or Derek were always first to know. Never Cam. And whenever Massie needed to cry on someone's shoulder it was always Derek. Unless he wasn't home.

Then it was Cam. He still didn't try to become more than a third wheel.

**seventeen.**

When applying to colleges, they all decided to apply to the same schools. Massie and Derek wanted to go to Yale, Princeton, or Columbia. Cam was considering Harvard, also. Massie was considering Brown as her fourth option. Derek's fourth? Brown.

**eighteen.**

Derek and Massie got into all the schools they applied to. Cam got into Princeton and Columbia. Massie and Derek decided on Yale. Cam decided on Columbia. He understood why they didn't want to go to Columbia, too.

**nineteen.**

They were at college now. Cam was two hours away. They called him two times a week, saw him two times a month.

He was drifting, he just didn't want to admit it.

**twenty-one**.

Massie and Derek invited Cam up on Derek's birthday so they could celebrate together. When he got to the apartment they shared, he saw all the pictures that littered the house of the past years that had been sharing. There were, yes, he had been counting, five of them all together. It seemed like one thousand of Derek and Massie, or Derek and Massie and their new friends.

**that night.**

Derek took Massie home at one that morning, Cam pretended he was busy with some girl and told them he would catch up later. Cam noticed that you could easily mistake Massie and Derek for a couple, they way they were touching each other, and the way Derek held her arm on the way out.

**twenty-two.**

Derek and Massie showed up at his graduation, but left early in the night. He was almost positive they were dating, but neither of them mentioned anything.

**twenty-three.**

Cam, Massie, and Derek got together for old times sake. At least, that's how they described it. He didn't think it was that long since he had seen them.

Only five months.

Massie and Derek ended that night making out on his couch in New York City when he went to go look for their yearbooks in his bedroom. Cam wasn't surprised, but they looked at him like he was crazy when he asked if they were together. Then they got all tongue-tied saying they meant to tell him... it just never came up in their two minute phone calls.

**twenty-five.**

Cam got an invitation in the mail. It was for Massie and Derek's engagement party. He went, and realized that they had Massie and Derek now formed a tight clique with another couple. When had he totally drifted away?

**twenty-six.**

The wedding was that day. Cam sat in the pews, and looked at the beautiful couple. He knew they were always meant to be together, so why was he looking at Massie and wishing he could be standing before the priest with her?

**twenty-seven.**

The baby shower. Cam still wasn't dating seriously. Derek had a great job at his father's law firm, and Massie was an interior-slash-fashion designer.

**thirty.**

Cam had moved on. He spoke to the Harrington family twice a year, was invited to their New Year's parties, and an occasional dinner. Cam lived twenty minutes away. He never questioned the distance.

**thirty-two.**

Cam was getting married. Massie was there every step of the way: flowers, music, food. Derek encouraged him to pop the question, helped him through all the stress. Where was he during his time for Massie and Derek?

**forty-two.**

Cam's son was born ten years ago. He knew all the Harrington's. He talked about them everyday, about how he wish he was as cool as the eldest one, wish he were as athletically gifted as the middle one, wished he could date the youngest one.

**sixty.**

They talked occasionally. Massie and Derek had three gorgeous children, Cam had one boy. Massie and Derek could retire, and be happily sitting on piles and piles of cash.

If Cam retired now he couldn't pay for his son's college tuition.

**seventy.**

In his will, Cam had given everything to Massie and Derek. Camilla, Cam's wife, had passed away. He worded it as "who always seemed to mean more than me." He meant to each other. He knew everyone would interpret as more to him than himself. He still wouldn't admit he wasn't as important to them.

**eighty.**

Cam Fisher died on the 17th of July. Massie and Derek's anniversary. Everyone assumed it was of old age. In reality, Cam had committed suicide. No one except the police every knew.

At eighty years old Cam Fisher had finally admitted to himself that the people he had wanted to fit in the most with and had meant the most to him, had never needed him. He could no longer live with it.

Massie and Derek were extremely surprised to receive all of Cameron Fisher's possessions. They hadn't talked to him in fifteen years.

**Author's Note:** This was all just to relieve some stress... it came out a little like depressing... or at least I like to think so. I have a track meet tomorrow. I'm nervous. I'm competing in the max amount of events allowed. I should be sleeping. It snowed a lot today. School was cancelled. It started snowing at eleven thirty. I was happy. Okay! (:

p.s. I'm hoping this story will be as decent as I think it is now in the afternoon when I'm not nervous about my meet anymore....


End file.
